Life's Hard At Times

Let's see... Okay... I haven't been updating for quite some time. My blog is still empty. N i don't know what's up with life lately.
Well the problem is that quite a number of people knows about it already. It's just that I'm not ready, guys, to even tell u. Cause I'm not sure myself. I'm just too afraid to face all this. I'll just end up hurting myself damn bad. It's not the first time. Well... Yes, I agree. Yes, I admit. But I'm seriously stuck down here. Cause all I can do is to just sit down on solid ground n watch everyone flying. I'm not saying that I'm actually expecting things to happen. Just. Excitement, envy n... Haiz. It's like. I'll tell u a story n u figure out yourself.
U imagine everyone on the field, flying their own kite. Some kites flying way up high in the sky. Some are playing low. Drop once, n they're still flying again. But u imagine. Among all the kite fliers, u're the only 1 sitting down, waiting n hoping that miracle will happen. Cause every single time u try to fly ur kite, things just go wrong. Ur kite got blown away. Ur string snapped n u lost ur kite. N by the time u got a new kite, a perfect, strong kite, u're out of string.
It just hurt so much. I'm just too afraid to try again. Cause if i were to really throw my hope into this one n put all my heart into it, I still might not get it. So why try? Every time i fall, my heart scatter. All passer by will do is to look down on me n shake their head n walk away while I'm slowly picking up my scattered heart. How bad will things go? I lost everything already. Hopes. N my heart. I'll forever be a spectator. N never once a kite flier. Given up.
Bye hopes, bye dreams.